The title of this blog is how I actually want to be, to be better. I want to be a better wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and person. I think each day is now an opportunity for me to improve myself. Some days I may be successful at this and many days I know I won't.
In a marriage you need to constantly work on communication and understanding. I definitely need to work on these two things. As a mother I need to work on not being such a worrier. I need to be more present with E and not run through the list of my worries and concerns. I need to not obsess about his naps and getting him to nap in his crib (but I can't help myself). I want to not be so scared of what will happen to our bond once he goes to daycare. I just keep telling myself that we will make this work for our family and trust in the whole "change is good".
I just want to try and improve myself because I want to be the best possible me that I can. I want to make E proud of me as his mother and J proud of me as his wife.
E is 15 weeks old today and I can't believe how fast it is going. The first 8 weeks seemed to go by really slowly but these last 7 have flown by! I can't believe he is almost 4 months old. He's becoming more and more chatty and still loves his tongue. He is also really starting to explore with his hands and seems to enjoy tummy time a bit more than he did before.
Today has been a bit rough for him, he is just a bit cranky. I think this is due to the fact that it's getting more difficult for him to nap for more than 30 minutes. I wish there was some kind of magic tool I could use to help him link his sleep cycles. He would just feel better and more relaxed. I just keep trying to help him and hoping that someday it will work for him. Trying hard to be at my best for him. :)
This isn't the most interesting post but again, just a place for me to write down my thoughts.
trying to be better
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
New to this-
I am not a writer. My sister is a writer and my husband is wonderful with words, I am not. But I wanted a place to write down the moments we are having with our son and a place to put my own thoughts about this experience. I don't expect to ever have anyone read this besides me.
I have now been a mom for 3 months and 1 week. It's hard to remember what life was like before E arrived. It feels as if he's always been with us. I didn't know what to expect when we started on this adventure. I just new that my husband and I loved our life and couldn't wait to expand our family with a baby. This may sound stupid but it is way harder and way more amazing than I ever imagined.
I thought I new what love was when I fell in love with Jarrod. He has made me feel whole. I immediately felt safe in our relationship and that I could conquer anything that was put in front of me with his support. Then when we had E and we made it through the first weeks of his life and my baby blues, I fell in love with this perfect creature. I truly feel like I now know what love is because of him. When he smiles and laughs it feels as if everything is perfect in this world. All I want is for him to be happy and healthy. I feel a little crazy in how I would go to the extreme to ensure his happiness. I think motherhood makes you a little crazy or crazier than you were previously. Is it the change in hormones and your body chemistry? Is it the intense experience of carrying this bundle for 9 months and feeling as if a part of you is out in the world and vulnerable? I'm not sure. Maybe you are just crazed with the love you feel.
E is an amazing boy. He is very laid back so far, which is complete opposite to his father and I. He has been getting up just once at night since about 6 weeks. He does pretty good with his naps. Our biggest challenge has been trying to get him to nap for more than 30 minutes in his crib. Today he actually did 2 hours in his crib which was phenomenal! He has really taken an interest in his hands these last 2 weeks and is really starting to grab things and bring them to his mouth. It is beyond thrilling to watch him learn new things and develop his motor skills!
I return to work at the end of the month. I am not looking forward to this. I have very serious issues with having someone else care and comfort my baby. Unfortunately we as a family need me to work as well for the time-being. We'll see how this goes.
I have now been a mom for 3 months and 1 week. It's hard to remember what life was like before E arrived. It feels as if he's always been with us. I didn't know what to expect when we started on this adventure. I just new that my husband and I loved our life and couldn't wait to expand our family with a baby. This may sound stupid but it is way harder and way more amazing than I ever imagined.
I thought I new what love was when I fell in love with Jarrod. He has made me feel whole. I immediately felt safe in our relationship and that I could conquer anything that was put in front of me with his support. Then when we had E and we made it through the first weeks of his life and my baby blues, I fell in love with this perfect creature. I truly feel like I now know what love is because of him. When he smiles and laughs it feels as if everything is perfect in this world. All I want is for him to be happy and healthy. I feel a little crazy in how I would go to the extreme to ensure his happiness. I think motherhood makes you a little crazy or crazier than you were previously. Is it the change in hormones and your body chemistry? Is it the intense experience of carrying this bundle for 9 months and feeling as if a part of you is out in the world and vulnerable? I'm not sure. Maybe you are just crazed with the love you feel.
E is an amazing boy. He is very laid back so far, which is complete opposite to his father and I. He has been getting up just once at night since about 6 weeks. He does pretty good with his naps. Our biggest challenge has been trying to get him to nap for more than 30 minutes in his crib. Today he actually did 2 hours in his crib which was phenomenal! He has really taken an interest in his hands these last 2 weeks and is really starting to grab things and bring them to his mouth. It is beyond thrilling to watch him learn new things and develop his motor skills!
I return to work at the end of the month. I am not looking forward to this. I have very serious issues with having someone else care and comfort my baby. Unfortunately we as a family need me to work as well for the time-being. We'll see how this goes.
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