New to this-

I am not a writer.  My sister is a writer and my husband is wonderful with words, I am not.  But I wanted a place to write down the moments we are having with our son and a place to put my own thoughts about this experience.  I don't expect to ever have anyone read this besides me.

I have now been a mom for 3 months and 1 week.  It's hard to remember what life was like before E arrived.  It feels as if he's always been with us.  I didn't know what to expect when we started on this adventure.  I just new that my husband and I loved our life and couldn't wait to expand our family with a baby.  This may sound stupid but it is way harder and way more amazing than I ever imagined.

I thought I new what love was when I fell in love with Jarrod.  He has made me feel whole.  I immediately felt safe in our relationship and that I could conquer anything that was put in front of me with his support.  Then when we had E and we made it through the first weeks of his life and my baby blues, I fell in love with this perfect creature.  I truly feel like I now know what love is because of him.  When he smiles and laughs it feels as if everything is perfect in this world.  All I want is for him to be happy and healthy.  I feel a little crazy in how I would go to the extreme to ensure his happiness.  I think motherhood makes you a little crazy or crazier than you were previously.  Is it the change in hormones and your body chemistry?  Is it the intense experience of carrying this bundle for 9 months and feeling as if a part of you is out in the world and vulnerable?  I'm not sure.  Maybe you are just crazed with the love you feel.

E is an amazing boy.  He is very laid back so far, which is complete opposite to his father and I.  He has been getting up just once at night since about 6 weeks.  He does pretty good with his naps.  Our biggest challenge has been trying to get him to nap for more than 30 minutes in his crib.  Today he actually did 2 hours in his crib which was phenomenal!  He has really taken an interest in his hands these last 2 weeks and is really starting to grab things and bring them to his mouth.  It is beyond thrilling to watch him learn new things and develop his motor skills!

I return to work at the end of the month.  I am not looking forward to this.  I have very serious issues with having someone else care and comfort my baby.  Unfortunately we as a family need me to work as well for the time-being.  We'll see how this goes.